Friday, March 16, 2012

Facing fear


|Photo by SomeDriftwood|

When I graduated from high school (waaaaay back in 1998) I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I think that's a fairly common feeling for a 17 year old but, for me, that feeling seems to have clung on for dear life. I worked as a receptionist for a few years and when I decided I couldn't do that anymore, I found a college program that I thought I'd enjoy and would excel at. Turns out I picked well (Library & Information Technology) and I have enjoyed my career in libraries but there's always that little voice at the back of my brain telling me I should be doing "more." The trouble is, I don't know exactly what this "more" is and the thought of making major change at 31 frankly scares the crap out of me. It's funny because in my early twenties I was all about change; I moved to a different province, I flew across the world to work in Afghanistan, I met the man I'd marry, we moved again, and again, and again. So, what's different now? Has stability made me wary? Am I more cautious because I'm a mother now and I have a daughter to look after?

There are lots of things I *could* do. I could go back to school, but what would I study? I could start my own business, but what about the financial instability? We could move across the world, but what about our families? That "BUT" has paralyzed me. How do you figure out what your life's ambition should be? How do you know what you'd not only be good at, but be GREAT at? How do you decide which changes are worth the leap and which aren't? I certainly haven't figured it out, but maybe you have?

So, tell me your stories. Share your wisdom. Have you made a big life change? What steps did you take to overcome your fear? Was it worth it? I'd love to hear it all.

1 comment:

  1. I feel the same way. When I finished high school I had no idea what I wanted to do. I started a program at a school in Toronto to find out in one semester I wasn't cut out to be a Chiropodist. I moved in with my boyfriend and enrolled at George Brown College to take Behavioral Science. I had my 'ups' and 'downs', got married and finally graduated. After graduation I moved to an other country for 4 years and after 5 1/2 years of marriage I faced divorce. Life is really uncertain. I'm on the verge of turning 30 and when I was in my early 20's I thought I was invinsible and had plenty of time. Now I'm starting over again and yeah it's a scary time and its really stressful but that's life. I feel like I should be doing more too... I would like to go back to school but if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. I learned that I can drive myself insane thinking about absolutley everything but now I know I have to take it one step at a time.